Tom began his talk. He made some interesting points. A fair bit about religion; some about love and peace. A bit about how dogs can be trained in England and dogs in the USA will learn quicker because the dogs in England had learned the tricks first. I don’t know what else. Some interesting little stories. I’m not quite sure what the point of his talk was, but it was interesting.

 I did get some pointers on how not to give a talk and I thought I would share them.

 So here are Madeleine’s tips on what not to do when you give a talk:

•  Make sure you do not have a title or subject for your talk. This ensures that whatever you talk about is fine. It also means that you can bamboozle the audience no matter what you say.

•  Make sure you do not have a beginning, middle and end to your talk. This way no one can say you missed out on anything, cause they really have no idea what you are talking about. It also means you can talk about your latest hobby horse.

•  Never answer questions. In fact, if anyone asks a question, it is probably unanswerable, cause no one really understands what you are on about anyway.

•  Make sure your notes are unreadable, even by you. This allows you to flutter notes around and look like you have something intelligent written, if only you could read them.

•   Make sure your audience is very polite. Then they too will pretend that you have said something profound, and everyone will feel good about themselves.

• Always use the group’s catch phrases or lingo. This will mean that whatever you say will be seen as meaningful and intellectual. The audience will nod their heads knowingly, pretending they understand what you are saying.

  Madeleine

Friday, 28 April 2006

 The course was called “Structure thought and reality” or STAR as we called it. Part of it were interesting. For instance, during one session, we proved (don’t ask me how, I am mathematically challenged) that 1 + 1 does not equal 2. They used some incredibly complicated mathematics which went right over my head.

 Part of the course blurb says “The theme that binds these topics together is that of humanity's millennia-long search for reality. The unit should prepare students to understand better debates about the construction of reality as we enter the twenty-first century.”. So I guess it’s a bit out of date considering that we are now 6 years into the 21^st century.

 The bit that I found the most interesting was the idea that nothing really exists until we form a concept of it.  For example, drug addiction cannot exist until someone decides that there is a thing, or a concept, called drug addiction. Then people spend millions of dollars and many study hours proving it exists, deciding what it means, and how it should be dealt with.

 Prior to “addiction” and “drug” being put together, people used “drugs” recreationally. Marijuana was legal. Opium dens existed. Some people obviously had problems with them, but society as a whole didn’t see it as a problem. It was simply something people did.

 The same with cigarettes. When I was growing up, part of becoming an adult was that you smoked. It was like drinking. It was part of the rite of passage from childhood to adulthood. Now, of course, someone in their wisdom has decided that smoking is a problem.

 Graffiti is another interesting one. Kids have been writing on walls for as long as I can remember. Suddenly, over the last 10 years or so, it has become such a problem that someone has decided to study graffiti. There is now a Centre for Forensic Science: Fingerprinting Graffiti Tags. So someone is getting money to study graffiti tags to see if they can identify the people involved. Suddenly we have a whole new area of study, and to decide what it means and how it should be dealt with.

 These examples are only a few. I wonder what will be next? I wonder what I am doing now, that in 5, 10 or 15 years time will be seen to be a problem, studied, proved to exist and then how to deal with it.

 The interesting thing is: Nothing is a problem until someone decides it is a problem.

 Madeleine

Friday, 14 April 2006

Trust

 According to the news reports, there is a bogeyman behind every tree. You have to avoid drunks  who are lurching down the street, cause they will do something nasty to you. Women are not safe anywhere, according to the reports. They will be raped, pillaged and murdered if they don’t lock their houses properly. Every child is in danger of the paedophile who lives around the corner if they walk to school on their own.

 According to the news reports, there are dangers around every corner. A car can run into your house and kill you while you are sleeping. Plants and critters are all around you, just waiting to jump out and bite you. The world, according to the news reports is an incredibly dangerous place and getting more and more dangerous as time goes on.

 I guess I have a problem with all this drama and danger. I still believe that humans are basically good. I still believe that the world is a physically safe place to be. I still believe that the drunk walking down the street is just out for a good evening, and is probably so drunk that even I could take him down if I needed to.

 My experience in the world is that there are nasty people out there; there are natural disasters that happen; there are cars that plough into someone’s bedroom while they are sleeping. What I trust is my ability to cope with these things should they happen. I’ve been around the world. I’ve been in some hairy situations in my life. I’ve had some pretty shocking experiences. I know that, although at the time they are not pleasant, I can survive them and I don’t have to spend my life worrying about the drunk who walks down my street. I don’t have to stay in at night with all my doors and windows locked. I don’t have to avoid the world.

 Because for every person who is out there to do you harm, there are another 100 (at least), who will be there to help pick you up.

 So stop listening to the news. Stop listening to the dramatics that the news presents. Good stories don’t make money. Reporters are not out there to give you the facts. If they were, they would present some of the good things that happen in this world. But good does not make money, only bad does. Trust in your own ability to cope with life and what it presents. You can.

 Madeleine

Sunday, 9 April 2006

VOICES FROM THE PAST

 It’s funny how voices from the past come up and talk to you in the here and now. I was in the shop yesterday and when the cashier asked me if I wanted any cash out I said “Nope”. I could hear my mother’s voice saying: Now, that’s not very polite, Madeleine. Say “thank you”. Today when I was starting the washing, I was, shock, horror, putting the whites in with the darks. Now that is almost criminal!! I could hear my ex-sister-in-laws voice saying: “Now, Madeleine. You KNOW you DON’T put the dark washing in with the white!!”

 I know in psychological terms this is called “transference”. The voice from my mother and my ex-sister-in-law (and others in my life) and their rules and regulations are still there in the background of my life. What I like is my response: the little Child inside me responded to the mother’s voice and said: “I’m gonna do it my way. Things are different now. Colours don’t run like they used to. The rule about putting darks in with coloureds no longer has any validity. I’m gonna put them all in together”.

 It’s funny how words from the past become, over time, rules and regulations today. It reminds me of the story of the woman who always cut off the end of her roast before she put it in the oven. Someone asked her one day, "why do you cut off the end of your roasts". She replied: “My mother always did. I don't know why." She said that her mother had but had never wondered why. This woman asked her mother, “why do you cut the end off your roasts before you put them in the oven?”. Her mother replied: “Because my mother did”. So the two women went to the grandmother and asked: “Why do you cut the end off your roast before you put it in the oven?”. The grandmother replied: “Because when I was first married, my roasting pan was too small, so I cut off the end off to make it fit. I’ve just kept doing it.”

 Usually there is a practical reason for old rules and regulations. Like the one about not putting your dark coloured clothes in with your whites. Because at the time I am talking about we did not have colour fast colours and many colours would run. Hence the white shirt that came out pink. Nowadays, this does not happen as much so that rule becomes less valid.

 The rule of politeness I believe is still valid. However, my comment to the cashier was said politely, in a bit of a joking manner, and appeared to be taken in the way it was given. Simply a statement with no emotive undertones. I find that people say thank you and sorry for all sorts of things which I don’t think need them. When you turn a corner and you and someone else almost bump shopping trolleys. One or other will say “Sorry”. Why?? What have you done wrong. Nothing. You weren’t whizzing around the shop. You and the other person were simply in the same space at the same time. So why apologise?

 I remember one from my ex-mother-in-law. When I first came to Australia, I had never seen a hoist. She taught me that your undergarments should go on the inside lines so the neighbours didn’t see them. So I followed that rule for years. It also makes a bit of sense cause the lines inside are smaller for smaller clothes. Suddenly I realised that what we see, on a daily basis, on television and in magazines is a lot more out in the open than my bloody knickers on my clothes hoist in my back garden. And if someone has a problem with my knickers on my line – then don’t bloody look !!!!!

 As a young mother and wife, I used to have a lot of trouble with my style (or lack of) of housekeeping. Now we are talking over 30 years ago and things have really changed since then. I just don’t seem to be able to get up the energy to keep a tidy house. I am a slob as far as housework is concerned. I hate it!! I can’t see the point in it. I can hear my ex-mother-in-laws voice: “If you just kept it up on a day to day basis, you wouldn’t have this rush around when anyone came to visit. Just do it daily and it won’t get out of control”.

Somehow that never seems to work for me. I always seem to find something more interesting to do. Like write, visit friends, read a book, play with my miniatures, take the dawg for a walk, important stuff like that. I’m also very good at rationalising. For instance: you only do the dishes when you run out because you are saving water, using less soaps and cleansers and therefore looking after the environment. Not a bad rationalisation if I do say so myself. I am doing washing right now, should I leave the red top and the purple track suit top alone in the washing basket simply because the rest of the wash is light coloured. Certainly not. I’m not going to do another load with just 2 bits in it and I want it out of the way. So the two coloured tops go in with the knickers and bras.

 So the dishes get done when I’ve got nothing eat off. The clothes get washed when I run out of clean ones to wear. The house gets tidied when I can’t stand it any longer and get sick of tripping over things. The animal fur sits in the corner waiting for the wind to blow it away. And guess what?

 People still talk to me. They still like me. They don’t care what my house looks like. They don’t care that my knickers are on the outside of the line. Funny that!!

 Madeleine Hicks

Sunday, 16 October 2005