VOICES FROM THE PAST

 It’s funny how voices from the past come up and talk to you in the here and now. I was in the shop yesterday and when the cashier asked me if I wanted any cash out I said “Nope”. I could hear my mother’s voice saying: Now, that’s not very polite, Madeleine. Say “thank you”. Today when I was starting the washing, I was, shock, horror, putting the whites in with the darks. Now that is almost criminal!! I could hear my ex-sister-in-laws voice saying: “Now, Madeleine. You KNOW you DON’T put the dark washing in with the white!!”

 I know in psychological terms this is called “transference”. The voice from my mother and my ex-sister-in-law (and others in my life) and their rules and regulations are still there in the background of my life. What I like is my response: the little Child inside me responded to the mother’s voice and said: “I’m gonna do it my way. Things are different now. Colours don’t run like they used to. The rule about putting darks in with coloureds no longer has any validity. I’m gonna put them all in together”.

 It’s funny how words from the past become, over time, rules and regulations today. It reminds me of the story of the woman who always cut off the end of her roast before she put it in the oven. Someone asked her one day, "why do you cut off the end of your roasts". She replied: “My mother always did. I don't know why." She said that her mother had but had never wondered why. This woman asked her mother, “why do you cut the end off your roasts before you put them in the oven?”. Her mother replied: “Because my mother did”. So the two women went to the grandmother and asked: “Why do you cut the end off your roast before you put it in the oven?”. The grandmother replied: “Because when I was first married, my roasting pan was too small, so I cut off the end off to make it fit. I’ve just kept doing it.”

 Usually there is a practical reason for old rules and regulations. Like the one about not putting your dark coloured clothes in with your whites. Because at the time I am talking about we did not have colour fast colours and many colours would run. Hence the white shirt that came out pink. Nowadays, this does not happen as much so that rule becomes less valid.

 The rule of politeness I believe is still valid. However, my comment to the cashier was said politely, in a bit of a joking manner, and appeared to be taken in the way it was given. Simply a statement with no emotive undertones. I find that people say thank you and sorry for all sorts of things which I don’t think need them. When you turn a corner and you and someone else almost bump shopping trolleys. One or other will say “Sorry”. Why?? What have you done wrong. Nothing. You weren’t whizzing around the shop. You and the other person were simply in the same space at the same time. So why apologise?

 I remember one from my ex-mother-in-law. When I first came to Australia, I had never seen a hoist. She taught me that your undergarments should go on the inside lines so the neighbours didn’t see them. So I followed that rule for years. It also makes a bit of sense cause the lines inside are smaller for smaller clothes. Suddenly I realised that what we see, on a daily basis, on television and in magazines is a lot more out in the open than my bloody knickers on my clothes hoist in my back garden. And if someone has a problem with my knickers on my line – then don’t bloody look !!!!!

 As a young mother and wife, I used to have a lot of trouble with my style (or lack of) of housekeeping. Now we are talking over 30 years ago and things have really changed since then. I just don’t seem to be able to get up the energy to keep a tidy house. I am a slob as far as housework is concerned. I hate it!! I can’t see the point in it. I can hear my ex-mother-in-laws voice: “If you just kept it up on a day to day basis, you wouldn’t have this rush around when anyone came to visit. Just do it daily and it won’t get out of control”.

Somehow that never seems to work for me. I always seem to find something more interesting to do. Like write, visit friends, read a book, play with my miniatures, take the dawg for a walk, important stuff like that. I’m also very good at rationalising. For instance: you only do the dishes when you run out because you are saving water, using less soaps and cleansers and therefore looking after the environment. Not a bad rationalisation if I do say so myself. I am doing washing right now, should I leave the red top and the purple track suit top alone in the washing basket simply because the rest of the wash is light coloured. Certainly not. I’m not going to do another load with just 2 bits in it and I want it out of the way. So the two coloured tops go in with the knickers and bras.

 So the dishes get done when I’ve got nothing eat off. The clothes get washed when I run out of clean ones to wear. The house gets tidied when I can’t stand it any longer and get sick of tripping over things. The animal fur sits in the corner waiting for the wind to blow it away. And guess what?

 People still talk to me. They still like me. They don’t care what my house looks like. They don’t care that my knickers are on the outside of the line. Funny that!!

 Madeleine Hicks

Sunday, 16 October 2005

Practicing

 I bought myself a new camera yesterday. It is a little beauty. Probably should not have paid that much, but I love it and figured I am using my little camera on a daily basis and it’s not doing what I want. So I decided to upgrade. This one can zoom. And boy can it zoom. I’ve been out this morning taking photos. Just general photos.

Now tell me these aren’t gorgeous. This tree was well above my head and look what I got. These are your standard gum trees of which there are many varieties. I’ve no idea what the proper name of this little fellow is.

 I call this one the pineapple tree. I don’t know its proper name, it just looks like a pineapple growing.

 Then we have the Australian Gum Nut. We find them all over the place here in Perth and I suspect elsewhere in Australia.

 I rather like this one.

 And of course, I took my little fur child with me. She does enjoy our outings.

 The nice bit about my new camera.

 This is a magpie.

 This was how far away I was from the maggie.

 This is the photo that my old camera would have taken. With my new camera, I can zoom in and get the magpie. You can just see him (or her) just under the name of the school, if you look really closely. How kewl is my new camera.

 This one is called a grasstree. It used to be called a blackboy until it became politically incorrect terminology. This little fella lives just across the road from my house and I took it from my front garden.

 I am just soo impressed.

 Madeleine

Sunday, 2 April 2006

 In the 60’s, the idea was “let it all hang out”, just do what ever you feel the need to, let people see who you are and you will be happy.

 I just read a brochure for a conference in Sydney this year “Happiness and it’s causes”, how to be happy all the time. Just think properly and you will be happy. Now that’s an interesting trend. When I was a kid, the whole idea was not about happiness, but if you work hard, save your money, then all will be well. Happiness was not necessarily something to strive for. A good job. A good education. A husband or a wife. A few kids. What more does anyone want from life. Happiness? What’s that?

 Eating: The idea of what we should/should not eat changes on an almost daily basis. One day we’re told that red meat is not good for us. Now we’ve got a commercial that reckons that the reason we evolved from the apes was because we started to eat meat. Fat’s not good for you. Have to eat certain fats, but not the others.  Eat fish. Don’t eat fish, too much isn’t good for you.

 Parenting: When my first child was born, 4 hourly feeding was the norm. You were supposed to wake up the baby and feed him every 4 hours. Five years later when my second child was born, the “norm” was to “demand feed”, which meant when baby woke up, you fed her. I don’t know what the norm is now, so long since I’ve had a child, but I’m sure it’s something different.

 Smacking your child. When I was a young mother, spanking your child was considered quite okay, and people who didn’t were considered bad parents. Children needed to learn the rules of life and a sharp smack on the bottom did them no harm. “My father used to beat me with a belt, and it didn’t do me any harm” was a familiar comment. Now, if you smack your child, you are likely to be charged for child abuse.

 Drinking: I have never liked the taste of alcohol and through the years have had problems with people who feel that there is something wrong with non-drinkers – “What’s the matter, don’t you know how to party?”. I’ve even had people hand me a coke with rum in it when I just asked for coke. Simply because it was not socially acceptable to be a non-drinker (unless you were a recovering alcoholic and then it was okay). Now, I am the “designated driver” and not drinking has suddenly become socially acceptable.

 Television: When my children were young (not me, I can remember living without a television. I can remember our first television), the rule was: you mustn’t allow your child to watch too much tv. It was not good for their eyes. It would stunt their development. And you never, ever, admitted using the television as a babysitter. Now!! No one talks about the “dangers” of television. Every parent I know, has, at some time or other, used the tv to entertain their children at some stage. Now we are getting the same warnings about the use of computer that I got about television.

 Second hand clothes: Those used to be only for poor people. You never, ever admitted that you had hand me down clothes cause that meant you were poor. I remember being about 15 and all I wanted for my birthday was a “store bought” dress. I’d had my sister’s hand me downs, or clothes my mother had made, and a “store bought” dress was, to me, at that age, the epitome of luxury. There was no such thing as a second hand store where “normal” people went to buy clothes. Now, second hand stored abound. People brag about how little they paid for something rather than how much they paid for something.

 Writing: Now this is an interesting one. I use a lot of contractions in my writing. It’s part of my style. In the past, my writing would have been seen as not good enough because I use contractions and write the way I speak. It is informal. It is easy to read. If I had presented an article like this to my teacher in school, I would have failed.

 Teaching. Computers. The internet. All right. I will stop here. I could go on for days. Every paragraph I write, I think of something else that has changed in my life time alone. What about all the things that have changed before my life time and will change after I die. The world I will leave, will be totally different from the world my son leaves when he dies.

 What’s the point of this article? Nothing particular. Just fascinating to note how things change over time. Also, I guess, is to be aware that nothing ever stays the same. So what you are doing right now, is probably neither right nor wrong. It just is – for now – it could change tomorrow.

 Madeleine

Tuesday, 21 March 2006

 We went to a park that I hadn’t been to in years. The last time was probably with a friend of my son and his family. They went canoeing, while the rest of us sat and ate and drank.

 Here is the place:

As you can see, things are pretty dry here right now.

 As we walked along the river, I decided to go under the bridge to see what Ally’s response was. Sometimes when there are noises, she will get startled or interested.

 So under the bridge we went.

 Ally was not bothered by the cars driving across on top of her.

 On the other side of the bridge, we found a track. So we followed. It started out like cars had been through.

 And then it got smaller and smaller.

 Rolling
                                

Exploring
 

 Sniffing
 

 Then we came to the end of the track.

 So we turned around and came back.

 It’s interesting how different things look when you stand at the same spot, and take two photos in different directions.

 Ally stopped to scratch

 While I checked out the litter !!

 Not too bad. Been places where it is worse.

Then we headed back. Down the track. Under the bridge.

 
And back to the car park.

 Ally decided to cool off.

 And we watched this guy get ready to go kayaking.

 Back to the car.

 The people in the background decided not to stay.

And of course, one last photo as we are driving out of the park. I cannot resist the pictures from my car.

 
Madeleine

Sunday, 26 March 2006