The new year: remembering
Talking to someone the other day,
reminded me of the new year from 1999 to 2000 and the kerfluffle about the “millennium
bug”. I assume this was a worldwide phenomena and not just nutty Australians.
Most of 1999 was spent with concerns
about what would happen to all our computers when the year turned from the 19
to the 20. Part of me had complete faith in, I don’t know who, maybe my own
sense that this can’t really happen, the government wouldn’t let it happen, who
knows. So I spent the year poo pooing the dramatists who predicted doom and
gloom at the turn of the century. But there was a small sense of anxiety:
something bad could really happen, bad things do happen to me, this could
happen.
I don’t often go out New Year’s
eve but this year I did. I was in Sydney
visiting my son and his partner for Christmas and stayed for the New Year. We
were at a party and watching the television as the year turned. Being in Australia,
we witnessed one of the first turns of the year from 1999 to 2000. I remember
the talk in the background, almost as if people were expecting the world to
end. I remember a small sense of anxiety in myself and then relief as time
passed and nothing dramatic happened. It was almost an anticlimax.
This year is totally different.
My personal life is marching on quite nicely. I’ve got my friends, my hobbies
and my writings. There is always hope that this year will bring a grandchild.
2005 was quite a stressful year
at work. The colleague causing the stress has now left (yippee!!) and work is
now quite smooth. However, my new boss is busily pushing me out of my comfort
zone. I haven’t decided whether I want this or not (do I want to be a queen bee
or stay a worker bee?). I have decided to accept the change in the short term
with a 3 month trial period. I can change my mind if I want. Always keep your
options open, Gezunda. So 2006 could also be a stressful year. It could also be
most rewarding as far as my work is concerned.
I’m just pondering the
differences over time and the differences in my life over time. For me, the new
year, like birthdays, brings a sense of something different about to occur. Funny
that. It is just one 24 hour period to another.
1998 to 1999 was a lousy year. Susan
died in 1998 and the change of year felt like another bit of her passing.
2002 to 2003 was great. I spent
that New Year in London, England
with my son and his partner. Saw snow for the first time in years and visited
places I’d never been and revisited places I hadn’t seen in years. London
was great to visit in the winter. No crowds. No long queues. Just cold.
2004 to 2005 saw me having one of
my best New Year in a long time. Spent in Sydney,
again with my son and his partner, the whole trip just went well, I rested and
relaxed, took Ally with me so I didn’t have to worry about her and generally
had a lovely couple of weeks.
This Christmas/New Year has been
nice, pleasant, but not one of the most memorable. But time will tell. It is
only when time has passed that we know what are significant memories and what
are the least memorable.
2006 will also see me turning 60.
As I’ve written before, this one feels like another milestone. Again, who knows
how I will feel when it happens. My work will be moving into our new building
in 2006 so that’s another big change. We have been in this old building now
since 1996. The new one is purpose built, much bigger and we will be expanding
our services. My role will probably change to a more supervisory role, one I
have avoided for years. I won’t let it stop the counselling part of my work. I
enjoy that too much. I have realised however, that I enjoy supervising as well.
What else can I see coming up in
2006? Friends. I need to be more proactive in keeping up with friends. I tend
to get quite comfortable with what I’m doing, with being alone, and I know that
can be a problem for me. I could allow myself to become quite isolated if I
allow that to happen. I am hopeless at ringing people, and some people object
to that. I don’t generally make New Year’s resolutions because I feel they are
a “should” rather than a want. I guess the above is a bit of both.
So I will quit rambling. Those
are the definites for 2006. For the rest, I will have to wait and see. Part of
me loves change; another very strong part of me hates it. So the New Year to me
suggests change, and part of me waits to see, with anticipation what will
happen next; another part of me waits with trepidation.
I do know that whatever happens I
will survive. No matter what happens in 2006, I will always be me: generally
confident, cheeky, silly sometimes, intelligent, love people and animals,
independent, hating to ask for help, love hugs, movies, dancing, music etc etc.
Happy new year, blogstreamers.
Madeleine
Saturday, 31 December 2005
