Apparently when Aussies come to the USA now their luggage is being searched for a new contraband that is a staple in the Australian diet.

 Today the Americans have banned Vegemite. Shock!! Horror!!  Apparently it has folate in it and that’s a no no as far as American customs is concerned. All good Australians are up in arms. Vegemite is something that Australian children are raised on and is a national treasure. Australians take it with them when they travel. They import it when they are overseas. And these Americans have suddenly decided that Vegemite is a health hazard.

 I can just imagine the scenario.

 I arrive at the airport in New York, San Francisco, wherever. The customs guys find a couple of jars of vegemite in my luggage. My jars of vegemite are seized. I am taken to court with the judge looking down her/his nose at this smuggler from Australia. I wonder how many years I would spend in an American jail for this crime. Can you imagine telling people: “I have been banned from going to America cause I smuggled vegemite into the country”.

 We have a saying here in Australia: We call someone a “Happy little vegemite”. This has a whole new meaning, maybe they are happy because vegemite is like a drug and makes you happy.

 I’ve got a very bad case of the sillies today and this one just really tickled my fancy. I wonder just how dangerous vegemite can be. Obviously Australians must all have too much folate in their tummies. I wonder what this dreaded folate does to our bodies. Must be a dangerous chemical to be banned by a whole country.

 Obviously all Australians must be sick or something cause almost every Australian loves their vegemite. I’m not quite sure what it will do to you, but I guess whatever it is, Aussies have got it. Maybe Vegemite should be banned in Australia. Damn. I can see where my brain is going now.

 I love listening to the news. You never know what people will come up with next.

 Madeleine

Sunday, 22 October 2006

 I joined for two reasons. Not because they give a lot of services for those seniors who are still working, but for a parking space. Our new building is across the road from the senior citizen’s centre. They have a lot of parking spots reserved for them. Everyone else at work has to park away from the building. I get to park right near by. Worth it I reckon.

 However, I also took advantage of one of the benefits of this membership. That was cheap podiatry. Yes, folks, I went and paid a very good looking young man to cut my toenails, to sand off some of the hard bits on my feet, and to give me a bit of a foot massage when he was finished. Well worth the money. Enjoyable.

 This, I find, is one of the problems of ageing. I don’t bend the way I used to. So bending to cut my toe nails has been a problem for some time. This is not something that people talk about. Is this a BIG sign of ageing? Is there a social stigma about not being able to cut your toenails?

 I used to be able to put my palms flat on the floor without bending my knees. Now I can’t move my foot enough to cut my toe nails properly. This is not something people talk about.

 I have always fallen down. Trip over things. I don’t bounce any more. When I go down. I go down like a ton of bricks. And I don’t get up. I need time to work out how to get up. Not something people talk about either.

 I don’t open bottles the way I used to. I now have aids to help. A friend knows I have arthritis and keeps his eyes out for any little gadget he finds to help. He’s got me some very useful little toys. I used to be able to open anything. People would bring me things to open that others couldn’t. Now I use aids to help me open the tin of dog food.

 So although emotionally I’m only about 30. My body says that I am really 60.

 Funny that.

 Madeleine

Thursday, 12 October 2006

 Into the bathroom cupboard for my nail polish remover - bought to remove registration stickers from my car.  Didn’t work. By this time, my fingers were really stiff with glue. Not stuck together. I had managed to keep them apart. But if you have ever had superglue on your fingers, you will understand what it might feel like to have it all down between your fingers.

 Thinking, thinking. Check out the net. Why doesn’t the nail polish remover work? I’m sure that was the solution I read somewhere. Yes, it was. Only one problem – mine is “non-acetone” nail polish remover.

 To remove superglue from your fingers, assuming you have not stuck them all together you need acetone in some form. If you are going to use nail polish remover, make sure it is not acetone free. I bought some acetone from Bunnings for something else. It worked. My fingers are now superglue free. I’ve forgotten how much I paid for the acetone, but it was worth it tonight.

 I don’t know if all nail polish remover is acetone free nowadays, but do check the bottle before you buy it if you are planning on using it to remove superglue.

 Word of advice:

• Be careful when you use superglue !!

• Do make sure you have plenty of ventilation when you use acetone. It stinks!!

 Madeleine

Saturday, 7 October 2006

 I could get a flu injection every year, but I choose to go with alternative medicine unless I have something that won’t sort out with alternative or I feel needs a GP’s attention.

 Why do I do this?

 Don’t know. I just know that I feel more comfortable with some of the older medicines than the new.

 Doctors have been prescribing medicines for years. They seem to go through spells of certain types of medications. I know, many many years ago, many woman who went to the doctor saying she felt nervous or a bit down, would get valium prescribed for them. That was in the days when doctors believed that women tended towards hysteria and needed tranquilisers to keep them “normal”. Years later, I was counselling some of these women, who had been prescribed these medicines, repeat prescription after repeat, only to discover that they were addicted to them. Then they had to go through the withdrawals or stay on them for the rest of their lives.

 When antibiotics came onto the market, doctors prescribed them for anything and everything from the common cold to zits, from viruses to almost anything else. Years later, they are talking about “superbugs” which have developed, in response to all the antibiotics.

 Lately it’s weight. Now I am carrying a bit more weight than I should be, but according to the doctor, I need to lose 15 kg. (33 lbs) to fit with my age and height. This would make me 50 kg (110 lbs). The last time I lost that amount of weight, I looked haggard and did not feel very well. So as far as I’m concerned this is far too much weight. But, according to the doctors, if I don’t, then I am going to have a heart attack, get diabetes or some other dreaded disease. Again, they have a bee in their bonnet, and keep pushing it. The same as they did with valium, antibiotics and many other ideas through the years.

 So I will stick with my alternatives, my olive leaf extract instead of the flu injection, my vitamin C and Echinacea instead of antibiotics, my glucosamine instead of anti inflammatories, my natural menopause tablets, instead of hormone replacement therapy. I feel comfortable with this and will stick with in unless someone or something proves me wrong.

 Maybe we need more general practitioners who subscribe to both types of medicine and then I will begin to go to the doctor again.

 Madeleine
Saturday, 16 September 2006

 Definition: what your hair looks like when you first get out of bed in the morning.

 I have great bed hair. I’ve even given people the giggles when they see me first thing in the morning.

 I’ve read on the net, you can buy hair styling tools and gels and stuff that can give you a great bed hair look any time you want one.

 Now why would anyone want to look like they’d just got out of bed when they go to work?

 Wouldn’t that just give it away to the boss – “hey look at me, I’ve just gotten out of bed”.

 You can even buy products that keep your bed hair in place all day

 You can buy bed hair tools.

 Sexy office hair

So it’s supposed to be sexy to look like you’ve just got out of bed and haven’t brushed your hair. So there’s one more morning task I can stop doing. I don’t have to brush my hair. And if my boss says anything, I’ll just quote this at her.

 Funny, my bed hair doesn’t look at all like that. Mine looks more like this

 Madeleine

Saturday, 18 February 2006