Everyone needs something to believe in - a higher power, a religion, themselves, What I find interesting is what people choose to believe in and what they do with it. My experience is that when people find “something to believe in” they make it a way of life. It becomes not only part of who they are, but a large part of their value system.

 I find that TA (Transactional Analysis) is one of these somethings. I am on a list for TA people to discuss the theory and talk about their experiences. People have taken this theory and made it gospel. If you don’ t live this way, there is something wrong with you. The twelve steps program seems to be the same. I guess this is one way that human beings learn who is part of their pack and who is not. Most people at least profess to take in other people who do not believe the way they do, but religion is one area that many people simply cannot accept others who do not believe exactly the same as they do.

 Funny this. Why do people need something to believe in? Why is simply not being alive sufficient? Is it part of the pack mentality – we group ourselves on what people believe in. Someone once asked me why I had never killed myself? What was it that has kept me alive all these years? The first word that came to my head was – curiosity. So is that what I believe in? Doesn’t seem to fit with the definition I came up with as to what “something to believe in” is. So I guess I don’t believe in anything really. Maybe I don’t need to believe in anything. Maybe I don’t worry enough about why I am here on this earth. Maybe I don’t worry about what will happen to me when I die? Is this why some people believe that you have to have something to believe in?

 Madeleine

Thursday 29 June 2006

Anyway, I took 205 photos. I didn’t believe I had taken so many. Lots of them were of the local plants. Plants I’d never seen before; plants I don’t even know the names of. And the dawgs – all 4 of them. I’m warning you, prepared to be bored.

 So I thought I would share some of the plants and creatures I visited today. Ally met creatures she’d never seen before. Like Ben the horse.

 Here’s Ben.

 

 

The fur kids were not allowed in the house.

Here are three of them looking very expectant – “If I look pretty enough they will let me in”

 

 

These are cultivated flowers.

 

 Some lavender.

I was playing with the macro setting on my camera. It does a really good job of closeups.

 

 This one surprised me. I hadn’t seen the water droplets on it when I took the photo. Was very pleasantly surprised to see the outcome.

 

Again, I have no idea what these are. They are cultivated and very beatiful.

 

 Now we start to get into the native plants. Growing wild. I was told the name of this one and for the life of me can’t remember right now.

 

 

 This is what it looks like from the side.

 

 This one’s beautiful

 

This one is really exotic. Apparently it attracts bugs, and with the filaments on the leaves works the bug down into the plant and eats them.

 

 Later in the afternoon I played around with my camera settings and took a couple of the sky.

 

 Same photo, different settings. Kewl hey?

 

 

Enough for today.

 Almost forget the bug.

 

 

 My little Ally girl had herself a lovely day. Here she is now

 

 And that’s exactly how I’m feeling.

 

Goodnight all.

Madeleine

Sunday, 6 August 2006

 

Well, well, well. I’ve not been online, blogging for a while now. I picked up the flu and a cold which knocked me out for better than a week. Then I realised that if I was going to do anything for my birthday, that I only had a week to organise. So I cleaned and polished and invited. Saturday night came along and so did people. I reckon there were about 20 people there, a number of blogstreamers who will remain unnamed for my own protection. We had a lovely evening, lots of good food.

 So thank you all my friends who came to my house, wished me a happy birthday. Thanks to those who helped me celebrate my 60^th birthday. We had lots of tucker, everyone brought something and one of the women, in particular, took over in the kitchen and kept me organised. And it was needed. cause I reckon someone must have slipped some speed into my tucker cause it took me until 3 a.m. to wind down. I’ve never taken speed, but I think that’s what it must feel like. My whole system felt like it was on overdrive all night long.

 

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Monday was back to work as usual. When I walked in the door, the whole crew had come to work early, had put up Happy Birthday streamers, balloons (some which caused a giggle), and generally tarted up the old place, just for me.

 

The gang at work didn’t know that I have never had a kid’s birthday party. My first birthday party was when I turned 21, and my friends and I organised it. So for me this was very special. We had all the kid food you could think of: fairy bread, cupcakes, chocolate crackles, jelly with snakes in it, little boys with tomato sauce (ketchup to those non Aussies who are reading this), party pies, and sausage rolls,  we had hats and balloons and played pass the parcel. Our chairperson even came to help me celebrate.

They even decorated my chair and we all had lolly bags.

It’s just as well I brought a 2 Litre bottle of coke, cause it was needed.

 

After we’d eaten our fill of junk food, out came the most glorious ice cream cake I’ve ever had. I won’t tell you the trouble we had cutting it.

During lunch we had a visit from Spud – the puppy guide dog to be (my bosses granddog).

Spud was a bit hard to catch with the camera but I finally got him. Ain’t he a cutie

Later in the afternoon, we had a courier arrive, rather cute he was (I didn’t take his photo). He had a box of 24 long stemmed roses in a box with some chocolates, some Givenchy perfume,  a rose sachet and some rose oil. The courier was joking that they were from him and he deserved a hug and a kiss. So I gave him a hug. Don’t know what he made of this strange woman hugging him, but I don’t think he minded too much. He hugged back and what a nice hug he gave.

This was also a first for me. I have never had anyone send me 24 long stemmed roses.

 

So I am now officially 60 years old. Thanks to everyone for making it perfect. I don’t know really how to say thank you to all these people and I guess this is my thanks.

 Madeleine
Monday, 31 July 2006

Wikepedia says: “An intervention is an orchestrated attempt by one, or often many, people (usually family and friends) to get someone to seek professional help with an addiction or some kind of traumatic event or crisis.”
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intervention_%28counseling%29)

I find this an interesting concept. I have seen it portrayed on television where “friends” “lovingly” challenge some behaviour of a friend /family member they don’t like. I find the whole concept quite disgusting. How dare people decide that I have a problem! How dare people decide that I need to do something about my problem! I guess it all fits into the concept of others taking responsibility for my actions. So if I hurt myself, I can sue someone because I am not responsible for my own actions.

Using humiliation and shame to change someone else’s behaviour is not going to work in the long run. The idea of other people knowing what is good for me, is also not going to work in the long run. What will happen is that the individual may do what the “loving” family/friends want, but will it work in the long run. I doubt it. For true change to occur, an individual has to have some positive outcome for themselves. If you are making psychological changes for other people, I don’t believe they will be permanent changes.

I also see it as bullying behaviour. I will force you, by humiliation and shame, to behave the way I want you to behave. I will make you, by aggression, into the person I want you to be. So who are you to say how I should be?

In the episode on Boston Legal last night, a father decided that his granddaughter was at risk because he believed that his daughter was using drugs. He had no proof except that she was borrowing money in certain quantities. He sent a colleague to check up on her. He then went to see her, went into her bathroom and through her medicine cabinet, and found stuff which proved to him that she was using. I don’t believe that using deceitful tactics is showing love to someone.

What he didn’t notice was that his daughter was working, the granddaughter was well taken care of, the house was clean and tidy, the child attended school regularly etc etc. To me, yes, she was using drugs, but she appeared to be using them in a fairly harmless way. Who was this man to make these decisions about her life? Who was this man to tell her that she wasn’t a good mother?

Then we read: “Any behavior that involves bad habits or inappropriate behavior can be resolved through a family intervention. “(http://www.interventionguide.com/)

Wow!! So if you decide that my behaviour is inappropriate, you can get everyone together, sit me down, with no prior knowledge, and tell me, in front of all my family and friends what’s wrong with me. Wow!!

So who decides what is inappropriate behaviour? I find that really interesting because from my experience what someone considers inappropriate behaviour in their family, others find quite appropriate. Basically what we have is so-called “loving” people trying to control the behaviour of their friends and relatives and trying to force them into behaviour that the family/friends deem to be appropriate.

Many of the site I read say that interventions are 92% effective and that the addict goes into treatment. Yup. I bet they do. But how long does this last. What about the family members who are enabling the drug user? Who intervenes with them? Their behaviour is part of the problem. Often it is the family background that has set this person on the drug route. So how then does the family get off telling this person that their behaviour is inappropriate.

I find the whole concept incredible, controlling, and very much in the style of today’s world, which is about conforming at all costs, about people not taking responsibility for their own actions. And yes, probably the family is worried about the individual, about their health. But hey, who amongst us doesn’t do behaviour that is dangerous in some way. Who amongst us has the right to say that someone’s behaviour was “inappropriate”? Interesting that if it is so effective, why don’t they use it with child sexual abusers? Why not use it with criminals?

Madeleine

Tuesday, 11 July 2006